Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
