she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
