You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
