why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
