She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
