she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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