I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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