I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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