Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
