Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
