so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
