I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
