dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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