New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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