you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
