Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
