Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You smell like stripper and shame
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
