Dignity is for republicans.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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