and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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