Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
