hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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