Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
