the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
