We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize