Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize