Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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