piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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