i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
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the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He did a backflip because drugs
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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