I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize