my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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