shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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