life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
