he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
