Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i believe in u and ur pee
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
