i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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