My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
