Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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