Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
