Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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