He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
