3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
