you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
