She said her name was "party"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
two words...techno handjob
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
