Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
