Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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