i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
