i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
