I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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