U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
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Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
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My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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