she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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