Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
