Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
my liver is dry heaving
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
