Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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