Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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