He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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