If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
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I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The air was thick with penises
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
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I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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