Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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