ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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