i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
