Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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