He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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