Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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