Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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