do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Randomize
