I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
